You Might Have Combat PTSD if...

--If you think the term "The Great Depression" refers to the month you spent in the psych ward at the VA, you might have combat PTSD.

--If before you mow your lawn, you sift through it w/ a stick searching for landmines and booby traps, you might have combat PTSD.

--If your local police department refers to your house as "Fort Wack," you might have combat PTSD.

--If your neighbors politely suggest you replace the barbed wire and sandbags with a fence, you might have combat PTSD.

--If your significant other morphs into an enemy troop in the middle of the night, you might have combat PTSD.

--If, when startled, you feel like you drank a venti at Starbucks, shot up meth, then snorted a line of cocaine, you might have combat PTSD.

--If your neighbor has asked you numerous times why you pace the perimeter of your yard at 3 in the morning, you might have combat PTSD.

--If every time you walk in a room, you "slice up the pie" looking for every exit point and find a chair w/the back to the wall, you might have combat PTSD. (contributed partly by AMyracle).

--If your knowledge of psychotropic medications surpasses that of your psychiatrist, you might have combat PTSD.

©2009 bornethebattleblog

Gulf War Illness?

I can't write a very good blog post. That's why I haven't been updating this blog. Thinking about writing a blog post literally hurts. So difficult to concentrate--to maintain concentration. I wish I could give a great post about Gulf War illness with links all over in order to educate people on it, but it ain't happening. But I'm forcing myself to write.

So I just want to share my own experience. I'm kinda scared right now, because I've developed some symptoms I cannot explain. I have a blurriness in my left eye and my right ear is ringing louder than ever, and I have involuntary muscle twitching.

Actually, I have suffered with my health ever since I returned from the war in 1991. Debilitating depression and PTSD mostly, but there have been unexplained symptoms from the beginning.

I know, could be anything, but--the U.S. government has admitted they destroyed caches of Iraqi chemical weapons and exposed American troops to the harmful effects of the chemical nerve agent Sarin, among other things.

They did the same thing with Agent Orange--study, study, study, until most of the affected vets die off, then compensate a very small few.

I'm not interested in compensation, but, like Tom Cruise in "A Few Good Men," I WANT THE TRUTH!! Bet I never get it.

The hardest part is the inability to concentrate and remember things. Yes, I have reached my forties, but it is so far beyond that.

It has now reached a point that I am unable to read any voluminous writings. No books. I have begun experimenting with audiobooks, but I don't know if it will help.

When I see a very long blog post or comment, I gloss right over it. It would take WAY too much energy to read it.

Weird. And sad.

Is the Rise in PTSD a Symptom of a Disintegrating Society?

In this article, The Voice of America reports that cases of PTSD among American troops is skyrocketing. What accounts for this rise in PTSD is still largely a matter of conjecture, so I will add mine.

Part of the cause for the development of this mental disorder among combat troops could be the disintegration of the American family. PTSD researchers have made a discovery about PTSD in their research that is instructive.

Researchers have found that individuals with a history of trauma i.e. abuse, are more prone to develop the disorder. A study published in The American Psychiatric Journal found that subjects with "history of any previous exposure to traumatic events was associated with a greater risk of PTSD from the index trauma."

Other well documented research into children of divorce shows that children who come from broken homes are hugely affected by their parents' divorce; it is truly emotionally traumatic to a child.

Could the fact that the divorce rate in America is near 50% account for at least part of the higher percentage of PTSD cases among combat veterans? Could it be the astronomical cases of abuse and neglect of children could account for the rise?

It could be that these men and women who have survived the emotional trauma of divorce or abuse go to war, and the stress of combat opens the wounds from their original trauma, which causes them to be more susceptible to having an emotional reaction that can spiral out of control.

Apologies

I would like to apologize to all three ( ;) )) readers of this blog. Some of you may know this already, but my dear mother passed away on Dec 14, 2008. I've really been in a fog since then. It is my desire to get back to blogging about PTSD and Veterans issues as soon as I feel up to it. Right now I don't. But please don't give up on this blog. Thanks,
ME

RAGE

Anger is one thing. Rage is different. Rage is anger so powerful, so out of control-dangerous, perilous, dangling on a precipice ready to go over the edge at any second. Rage from PTSD is rage multiplied to the nth degree. It is rage so shockingly fearful and intense, like a wounded animal cornered with no escape, no choice but to lash out and attempt to hurt anyone or anything, even those who may wish to help.

For combat veterans, rage takes on a whole different dimension, in that killing is a line having already been crossed. Killing is no longer a theory, no longer an abstract idea. It is a reality, an experience from which there is no return. Rage for a combat veteran means the return to the killing fields. Ready. Ready to remove another soul from existence. At first, the rage is hot as a blue flame. But when the rage goes cold--when it grows cold--when the killing rage becomes just another business activity--it is at its most dreadful, most horrifying, most deadly.

This rage is valuable in the combat zone. It helps the troop overcome the inhibitions to killing, and helps him stay alive.

Now imagine being in that rage zone one day, and 24 hours later being at home with your wife and child, being told to relax, being told everything's fine, nobody is going to hurt you, you're safe now.

But you don't understand. You haven't felt that cold rage. You haven't crossed that kill line. You haven't felt what it's like to remove another soul from existence so that other soul cannot remove your soul from existence.

This is what society asks of it's troops. Cross that line, it's o.k., the government says so. Come home now, and be normal. When someone cuts you off in traffic and flips you the bird, just relax. Maybe they're just having a bad day.

You introduced me to this rage. So spare me the crying and the pontificating about anger management. You have no frickin' clue. SO ignorant and naive. You think you can turn this rage on and then turn it off like a frickin' water faucet?

Doesn't work that way. Researchers tell us that it's a chemical thing, a rush of adrenaline so powerful that it awakens animal instincts. Once the brain has been flushed with adrenaline in this way, it's done. There's no going back.

Yes, you did it. While you sat in your easy chair and watched the breaking news and waved your flag, you washed my brain with a chemical cocktail that changed me forever.

Didn't change you, did it? After you turned off the TV and had a snack before bed, you slept soundly all night with your snoring wife beside you, then woke up the next morning and relaxed with your cup of coffee, again turning on the news to see if anything had turned in the war before you left for work.

Hooray, the war is over! We won! Let's have a parade, let the troops know how much we appreciate the fact that they doused their brains in a poison cocktail for us. YES! We appreciate the fact that you learned to obliterate others on our behalf.

Now sit down in this easy chair and take a nap, son. Relax. That noise outside the door? Don't let it bother you, it's just the dog next door. He doesn't have an IED strapped to him. Honest. Trust us.

Man, what's the matter with that guy? So touchy. Damn. Relax, son. Everything is going to be o.k.

Some YouTube videos

Here are a couple of Youtube videos I thought were very interesting. The first is a tribute to our troops..all I can say is a hearty Amen.

The second is a protest song from a guy named Tom Smith. Although I don't personally agree with his characterization of the president, I do think that if "the president" represents the government in the song, I can understand the sentiment. Often returning troops feel "used up" and forgotten by the government. Also, the first part of the song explains pretty well how PTSD feels to a combat troop. Plus it's funny.

Lastly, the line, "what I want to know is what's going to happen when our injuries run out of places to hide?" Powerful line.

The other thing I like about Tom's video is that it's an example of "talking blues," a unique form of song made famous by Woody Guthrie and Bob Dylan, among others.

Oh well. Food for thought.




Tom Smith Video

Army Suicides in 2008 may set New Record--Again

The Associated Press reports that the suicide rate among soldiers is on pace to break the record set last year. This is a very serious development that needs to be addressed in much stronger terms than our military leaders have attempted thus far.

Suicide prevention needs to become a higher priority part of training our soldiers and especially leaders. Leaders need to understand the dynamics of suicide and depression, and be able to intervene quickly.

Suicide is always a major threat for troops returning from deployment to a combat zone. When faced with the cold hard reality of war, a person's faith in humanity, in themselves, and even in God can be severely shaken. Couple that loss of faith with the feeling of isolation (i.e., "nobody around me can understand this because they haven't seen things like I've seen") and you have a recipe for disaster.

Read the AP article here.